Come the revolution...

Of all the forms of pond-life infecting our roads, the lowest form of all are the queuejumpers. These are the scum for which the hard shoulder was built, who's rush is greater than ours, and whose status places them above the constraints of simple courtesy and such irrelevances as the rules of the road. No, these demigods exist in a universe where it is somehow acceptable to drive down the outside of a regularly formed queue, and squeeze into a non-existent space at the last moment before a kerb or junction prevents it. So the rest of the queue is held up to accommodate these arrogant fools, and they in turn succeed only in reaching the back of the next jam 20 seconds further up the road.

You will find an excellent example of such greedy selfishness at the traffic lights between The Greens and Al Barsha, just past Jebel Ali Racecourse roundabout. Residents of the Greens/lakes/Springs/Meadows know it well, particuarly the current Salik-inspired chaos resulting from the diversion of all the trucks and concrete lorries using utterly unsuitable minor roads to avoid the toll. Every morning, there is a reasonably well behaved line of traffic waiting patietly to cross the junction, and at it's head, three or four white minibuses attempting to barge their way to the head of the queue.

Except today was different.

Today, my long-standing wish was granted, and a Dubai Police patrol car was parked on the sand opposite the point at which the numpties normally try to force their way in. It is with considerable schadenfreudde that I watched the antics of the regular jumpers, either swerving suddenly into line at the back of the queue (thereby demonstrating that the do actually know perfectly well that their normal behaviour is compeletely unacceptable), or better, cruising discomfitedly round the bend and off in the direction of Al Khail Road, a 4km diversion at least.

Let's hope our Boys in Green are back in place tomorrow!

Here we go (slow) again!

More RTA madness. What is it with these guys - are they niaive, ignorant, incompetent, or all three?

Splashed across this morning's Emirates Toady in 32pt Arial - Speed Limits Slashed on SZR!

Words fail me. No sooner have they managed to make driving on SZR slightly safer thanks to the imposition of Salik (the road is now slightly clearer of traffic and safe for up to 120kph), and now the cretins at the RTA have declared a blanked 100kph maximum "to encourage safety". Balls. This has nothing to do with safety, and everything to do with radar-generated revenue gathering. Changing the speed limit won't change driving standards at all; it will merely penalise those who already observe the law, and leave unchanged the arrogance of those who regularly and currently flout it.

What is needed is not enforced lethargy, but a combination of real policing and education. Real policing - obvious, active enforcement of the existing legislation and limits. Clamp down on the many and selfish idiots who currently use the road as their own private racetrack. (Hint - they're the ones weaving across 6 lanes at speeds in excess of 160kph in cars with an illegal degree of window tint and 2 digit number plates). Stop them. Book them at the side of the road. Crush their cars. Jail them. Name their parents. Put them through enforced and rigorous driver training courses before making them resit their driving test.

But there also needs to be much more and much better driver education. SZR is a six lane highway. Those in slow moving vehicles should drive them in the lanes to the right, enabling faster moving traffic to pass safely on the left. Not, as is the current practice, bimbling along in a clapped out echo in lane five, on the phone, oblivious to the chaos behind and the frustrated drivers passing to either side... these ignorami are as culpable as the speeders, and more dangerous, because they are unaware of the traffic around them and their own impact on it. I propose a law which makes it an offence to leave a clear lane to your right. Simple. If any other vehicle can pass you on the inside (right lane) without breaking the in-force speed limit, then it is you that is commiting the offence, not the passer.

More patrols, not more radars. More active policing, and roadside enforcement. Those who currently ignore radars will continue to do so. But they ought not to be immune from a good telling-off. For those with more money than Croeseus, time is the better currency. Delay, inconvenience and pulic humiliation will be more effective deterrents than any number of irrelevant speeding tickets dealt with by underlings.

This country is blessed with some of the finest roads on the planet - modern, well built, efficient and superbly maintained. It is my profound wish that as a nation we could devise a way to promote driving standards of equal measure.